is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
