I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize