remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize