you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
