I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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