After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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