ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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