had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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