I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
