My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
