i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
