it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
