so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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