Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
