Will you blow on my dice?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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