He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
