At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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