last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
