I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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