To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
We need to rekindle our bromance
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
