Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize