dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
there's paper in my vomit.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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