well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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