I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
