My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We're too hungover to prance.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
