I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
