Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
