you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
