oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I have fence marks all over my body
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
