I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
