I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
