I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize