The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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