so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
