And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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