get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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