And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
