we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Damn victory sex feels great
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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