I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
