do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
