try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
