Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
