Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
