In the future we'll all be gay
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I will be naked everywhere
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
