You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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