You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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