"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
