In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
