i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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