im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
They left me at home... I'm a liability
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
