Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
