Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
