Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
