for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
