I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
