i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
