my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
