Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
