Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
